Thoughts in a Coffee Shop

I’m sitting here in a coffee shop about an hour before work and I’m pretty exhausted from an intense hour of Yoga. I haven’t gone in about two weeks because I haven’t been willing to sacrifice the precious sleep that my body has been demanding. But I’m back at it and I’m hoping to take it to the next level. One of the reasons I stopped going besides the sleep was the fact that I was beginning to go for the wrong reason. I found myself motivated by who was instructing instead of my own personal wellbeing. It’s funny how a beautiful smile can do that. So for my better interests, I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to go to B’s classes for a little while. I need to get back into practice for my sanity. There are plenty of other instructors who have just as much to offer without providing an additional reason to show. In case you’re wondering, nothing bad happened between us. I just think it would be better to get into a personal routine, void of distractions. B’s going to Thailand in January anyways.

As of now, I’m on the cusp of a new adventure. I’m now officially proclaiming that I’m going back to school. I was just accepted into the Nursing Program at Pikes Peak Community College on Saturday and I’ll begin taking classes in the spring. It’s a two year program but it will probably take me an additional semester to finish pre-req’s. Because of this new turn of events, I’ll be postponing my decision to join the military. I’ll be reevaluating the situation once I’m finished with the program. Thank you to everyone who I’ve spoken to about my decision to pursue my RN. I really got a lot of support in Portland from the friends I reconnected with as well as friends from SAS and high school. I’m truly honored to have such supportive and loving friends.

A brief update on work, things are still wonderful and the kids are just as amazing as ever. Last night, I had a conversation with a teenage girl who is battling an eating disorder. I laid it out for her and told her that there were other ways to take control of her life as well as her physical appearance in much more positive ways than what she was doing. When she thanked me for taking the time to talk with her and ask why we work at the hospital with such messed up kids, I told her it’s because we really care about the patients. I’ve said this many times before but this time it really struck a nerve. Maybe it was because this girl reminded me of all the other people in my life struggling with eating disorders or maybe it was the first time I sincerely meant it. Driving home that night, I felt overwhelmed by emotions. I’ve been longing so hard to be that change that I’ve been doing it without even realizing it. I’m actually making a difference in the lives of other people and it feels good. I feel like I’m doing something that means something to someone else and as dumb and vague as that sounds, it’s so uplifting. It’s like I’ve just filled an endless void that I never thought I’d actually fill.