I’m so utterly worn and weathered from my parents and their incessant need to direct my life. It’s my Fucking life! If it’s not which college to go to, it’s whether or not I should go on a semester abroad. If it’s not what job I’m doing, it’s whether or not I make enough money. Why the service field or nonprofit route? There’s no money there. I’m not living their lives. I understand that their experiences direct their values but the same applies to me. I value making a difference in the world and if that requires living a life in mediocrity than I gladly accept. Money and materialism are not what rule MY LIFE. My experiences and the life I live tell my story. I live in a different generation and I wish they would get that.
I wanna be the change I wish to see in the world. I wanna live the dream. I want to count. I want to mean something and I want every bit of my inner being to make a difference. There is a void in my life that I’m longing to fill and the universe is trying to help me fill that dark hole. I need to break free and let the course of my life take shape on its own.
Heading Home
16 years ago
2 comments:
You know me well enough to know that I am not trying to shut down your dreams of making a difference. I have the exact same ones.
What I am doing is exactly what you continually do for me - change my perspective. This was in a book I was reading, and it made me think, ALOT.
"We're not here to leave a mark. Monuments, legacies, marks -- that's where we always go wrong. We're here to revel in the world, to soak in the awesomeness of it, to enjoy the ride. The world's maximum perfect as it is, beauty from horizon to horizon. Any mark any of us tries to leave... hell, it's only graffiti. Nothing can improve on the world we've been given. Any mark anyone leaves is no better than vandalism." - "live life, soak it up. That's what you're here to do"
Amy,
Thanks so much for the contribution! It’s greatly appreciated. I’m interested to know what book you’re referring to and who the author is. I interpret this statement as being fairly fatalistic. To say, “Nothing can improve on the world we’ve been given” is a rather depressing out view on the future existence of humankind. I guess I can agree with the statement but I’d like to draw a distinction between the context of my posting and the wonderfully contributed quote you’ve provided. If we agree there is nothing we can do to improve the world we’ve been given, then it’s my hope to preserve the remaining beauty. Whether I’m leaving behind a legacy upon the world or creating a legacy for myself, I’m still an instrument of change. At the same time, I can enjoy the ride. Think about living life while being a positive force in the world…isn’t that a stupendous idea!?!
I guess I’m leaning towards the side of optimism. Not only in myself, but in others do I see an unrelenting compassion and desire to make the world a better place. It takes patience, sacrifice, hard work, dedication, and love. It requires support, friendship, growth and failure. In the end, our monuments are our accomplishments whether great or small that leave our legacies and marks on the world and in the hearts of those who we affect.
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