Looking Back

Over the past three or four weeks, I’ve really been bogged down with the overwhelming sensation of immobility. I’ve realized that my drive and passion to help the kids I work with has slowly committed suicide and only been replaced with the monotonous repetition of a regular routine. At work, I run the same schedule day after day: room time, check-in, psych-ed, dinner, visitation, wrap up, and bed time. I’m tired of breaking up fights, being yelled at and cursed, and assaulted. I signed up to make a difference but lately, all I am is the campus enforcer. I earned stellar reviews on my annual performance review and learned I am extremely efficient at completing detailed clinical documentation and, I have “superior and dynamic leadership abilities,” which only means I’m more likely to get pulled to other units. The lovely CEO has capped the annual raise at 2%...which translates to a raise of 0.21 cents per hour or $1.68 more per shift. I’m glad to know that my efficiency and leadership is so highly valued.

I’ve been working so much and I feel like none of its paying off. I dropped this semester’s classes in a desperate attempt to earn enough to pay rent. I couldn’t handle working 50-60 hours a week AND succeed in Human Anatomy and Physiology. The sad part…I need A&P to get out of this crappy situation. I also want to get the hell out of the Springs. I realize I grew up here and I really value the experiences I had but it’s time to move to Denver. I’ve been looking for jobs and truly believe that Colorado Springs is incapable of providing young and eager individuals with the necessary upward mobility to succeed. The ONLY thing keeping me from spiraling into lunacy is the regular trips to Denver and the good times shared with my friends there. My three best friends in Colorado all live in Denver now which makes it easier for us to gather more frequently. Another very close friend just moved out from California and it’s been unbelievable seeing her here in Colorado. The other night, I actually “introduced” myself and asked if we could be real life friends. She laughed at me. There’s so many people I know, not to mention when I finally get my act together and get the pre-reqs finished, I’d like to go to CU-Denver. Denver is just a classier, younger and more exciting city than the Springs. I need that excitement and social structure RIGHT NOW!

Jeremy’s Birthday Bash

Just wanted to leave a quick note on the epic journey of my birthday weekend… Last Friday marked my quarter of a century celebration and I must admit, it was by far the best birthday I’ve had thus far. My best friends from Colorado came down to the Springs and we started the party off right. Shots of Tequila baby! Actually, we kicked off the celebration at Red Robin. Eric and Kate from work came out for dinner joined by Brittney, Jenna, Annie, Raine, and my sister. It was so much fun seeing my best friends in Colorado finally get to meet some of the amazing people I work with on a regular basis. Eric, Kate, and Brittney weren’t able to come out that night but the rest of us certainly had a grand time. Back to my place for drinks and cake and then off to the bars. We hit up Blondie’s and the Thirsty Parrot. Tanja, from work joined us and was kind enough to drive us all home. The next day we hauled ass up to Fort Collins for Tour de Fat where we met up with my friend Nate from work. Sadly, we missed the bike parade but still had a blast. Nasty quantities of PBR were consumed and several games of beer pong were played. My sister had a BBQ at her new house and of course, we tore up the city at night. Lucky Joe’s was the place to be where we enjoyed live music and watched MelAnie (aka Annie) get made fun of by the performer. “You should call her Melanie as in Melatonin” Next it was the Vault and then a quick trip to Steakout where the bouncer who is and always will be a DB. TNBS upheld the tradition of Thursday night bomb shots although it was no longer Thursday. We ended the evening back at Raine’s brother’s house and all passed out. Unfortunately, I had to be at work by 11 the next day, so needless to say…I didn’t get much sleep. I had a wonderful time and am so thankful for the friends who where able to celebrate with me.

On a different note, I’m back to classes this week and I think I’m over my pity party. Last week, I was seriously questioning my abilities and wondered if PA school was the right thing for me. After several whiney conversations with my parents and a few motivational speeches from my friends, I’m re-dedicated to pushing on and making the sacrifice to get through all of these science classes to accomplish my goal. One of my very close friends, Jenn is moving out here and I think her presence will help keep me on track, as she is also going along a similar road to become a nurse. She’s moving out here within the week and I’m so extremely excited to have her so close so we can be real life friends. I met her through Semester at Sea and it’s only one more reason that studying abroad was one of the best decisions of my life. In October, I’ll hopefully be heading to a wedding to see one of my best friends from college get married to one of the raddest dudes I know. It’s the first weekend in October and it’ll be nice to see many old college friends.

I’m really looking forward to this semester now. At first, I wasn’t but I think this weekend really refreshed me. It’s been several weeks since my friend passed on and I was really at a low point but now I’m back on my two feet, ready to take on the world!