As of Friday evening, I was expecting to rejoice in a new career at Regis University. Unfortunately, when the Dean called, I didn’t get the news I was hoping for. There were no congratulations, or job offers. In fact, there wasn’t even an apologetic “nice try, but we filled the position with someone more qualified.” No, it was an alternative between the best and worst possible answer. “You’re one of the top three candidates applying for the position and we’ll be making a final decision over the weekend.” I’m supposed to hear back whether I got the position or not on Monday. That leaves the ENTIRE WEEKEND for me to stress about why or why not I’ll get the offer. Am I too young? Will I have enough work experience? Are they worried that I won’t commit for too long? Do they really think I’m cut out for this type of work? Will I work well with the staff? Will parents see me as a credible representation of the university? These are all concerns running through my head.

I’ve done as much as I could to keep my mind distracted this weekend. I went up to Denver to see a visiting friend from Massachusetts who happened to be in town for her uncle’s wedding. I also reconnected with a fellow F’06er whom I did not know lived in Denver. In fact, we’re going to have lunch tomorrow afternoon. Tonight, I went to the Springs to hang out with an old friend from high school. I also hiked the initial Incline of Pikes Peak and completed the entire incline and switchback down in 1:04. The funny part…it took me 44 minutes to make it to the top of a 2.5 mile straight vertical while only 20 minutes to make it down 3.5 miles worth of switchbacks. Even though all of this helped ease the tension, as I sit here now contemplating on the reason for my distractions, I still realize that tomorrow determines whether or not I’m going to continue feeling like a failure without a job or a place of my own. I guess I’m equating employment as a means of achievement. It’s not just a paycheck but a means of direction. With steady employment, I’ll be able to move into my own place, pay my bills and start saving for the future. I’ll be able to continue living the dream by traveling periodically and seeing those people I traveled the world with. I’ll be able to go back to the city I’m actually still not missing and see all of the people I left behind in Spokane.

I guess it all comes down to this…please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers so I may start the week and month on a high note.

Namasté