Life's Lesson from Death

Today begins my new work schedule and it’s been a horrible day. I just learned that a friend of mine at work was taken off life support early this morning. The night before, he collapsed in the presence of his family and was rushed to the hospital. Less than a full month ago, my friend discovered he had an extremely rare form of cancer that had aggressively and swiftly metastasized throughout his body. Jason was someone who I’ve worked with for a year now and unlike many others, he wasn’t working with our kids for the money. He was doing it to make a difference in the lives of those we serve. We completely believed that we have the opportunity to help change the course of our patients’ behaviors so that they may live better and more fulfilling lives without being hindered by their diagnoses. The world is truly a lesser place in his absence. Sadly, traumatic and devastating events such as this are revealing in a truly remarkable way. They teach us that we have to be better and make a more concentrated effort to make a difference in the world. When we lose compassionate individuals, it is our responsibility to step up to the plate and make an even bigger difference than we already are. Last night at work was the worst night I’ve had in my entire year of employment at the hospital. I was ready to throw in the towel and even went as far as to compose my letter of resignation. I now clearly see that is not a possibility. I need to stick with it not only to support my staff and friends but because we need to send a clear message to our patients to continue the struggle, no matter what life throws at us. We can’t let horrible events bring us down.

As we stumble through life, it is important to realize that the reason we fall is to that we can learn to pick ourselves back up.

I'm on a Mountain, Don't You Ever Forget!

Finally…A day off from all the craziness that tends to engulf itself in my everyday routine! A certain patient returned from a short “vacation” to another facility and I realize that it’s not that I can’t work with this specific child; it’s that I don’t WANT to. This kid ranks the highest on my hit list. I’m talking about killing the kid; I’m talking about how many times he’s landed a definitive hit on me; whether by punching, kicking, or stabbing me. There’s only so much the body can take. The overall reaction by my staff was “Oh fuck, what else can I do with my life that will promote rather than discourage my safety and wellbeing.” I fully intend to use today as a day to reevaluate whether or not I’m going to stay at the hospital. I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve been nearly flying solo with a group of shitty kids this past weekend.

With Colorado’s summer in full force (not counting the fact that we set a record low “high” at 48 degrees sometime last week) I’m really excited to take advantage of Colorado’s landscape. After a mandatory meeting at work (yes, it’s my day off) I’ll head to the Pikes Peak incline and ideally make it up before the weather gets stormy or the sun goes down. It’s a breezy 81 degrees and I’m stoked to soak up the sun. I’ll probably hit up the gym afterwards and then take a nap before friends come over for a movie night. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie Wanted, I recommend it. I’ve never been a firm believer in the idea that movies make people homicidal but this movie certainly gets the adrenaline pumping.

School starts next week and my only regret is not having more time for myself. I wish I could have visited friends across the country. Watching as friends in the Pacific Northwest post pictures from their escapades on the lakes or cabins and seeing them enjoy themselves at wineries sometimes causes me to miss the years I spent there. In the foreseeable future, I’ll get to reunite with my Colorado girls during my birthday and then zip line up to Fort Collins for Tour de Fat. God bless whoever came up with New Belgium (Fat Tire).

On a closing note, I can proudly boast that I was the owner of two dogs for a day. At the animal shelter, I fell in love with the cutest puppy I’ve seen in a while. They called him Duckey although I called him Murphy. I adopted him in an effort to prevent them from putting him to sleep. Sadly after 24 hours, I quickly realized that I was allergic to the little guy and had to return him. Thankfully, the staff was very warm and reassuring. They said that because he was adopted, it greatly extended the time before they would have to reconsider whether or not he would be put to sleep. They further explained that the weekend was their annual adopt-a-thon and people were lining up by the hundreds to adopt new animals. (There seriously was a line nearly around the building of people and their children waiting to take a new companion home.) It made parting with the pup just that much easier although I’ll admit I became very attached within the first 24 hours.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week!