So I’m having one of my moods. Classes are going well and I’m more than settled into my new apartment. I should be content with the cards life dealt me for the moment but strangely I’m not. I feel down and I really don’t know why. Normally, I have a clear understanding and insight into my feelings and emotions but reason has managed to escape me. Quick update on my personal status…I’m sick and I think I got something from the kids at work. I went to the doctor today and was prescribed antibiotics. I was pretty upset Monday evening because my stupid supervisor decided to move me off my unit and place me on the residential unit. It’s not necessarily being moved that upset me, it’s the fact that I was moved even though I am the most senior staff on my unit. The alternate Charge RN obviously can’t be moved but the two techs on my unit haven’t been around as long as I have. It’s MY FUCKING UNIT!!! Well, now that I’ve got that off my chest I feel a little better.
As I mentioned, classes are going well. My BIO course is really interesting although it feels like forever since I took chemistry. There are many concepts that require prior knowledge of chemistry although chem wasn’t a pre-req. Although I’m only taking BIO and my Hip Hop class, I feel overwhelmed. I have classes Monday through Friday and work the rest of the day. In fact, the only days off are Tuesday and Thursday for class. I don’t have weekends off and I don’t have a single day to myself. Perhaps that’s why I’m in a mood. The more committed I become to going to PA School; the more anxious I am for it to happen. I’m several semesters away from completing my pre-reqs which means I’ll be 25 or 26 years old before I apply and get in. That translates to me being 30 by the time I get my MS. I just want to start and get the ball rolling RIGHT NOW and this patience concept is bullshit.
I purposefully didn’t post on my SAS CO reunion experience for several days because I was still trying to decipher what I thought about it. It wasn’t bad…but it wasn’t great either. I had the chance to see some people I hadn’t seen since the ship and it was reconnecting with them. I also got to spend some time relating with Raine and talking about this whole “maturity” thing is playing out for the both of us. I LOVED Thursday night in Denver with Jenna, Annie, and Jennifer despite the minor dispute. It was nice seeing JC and spending a little time talking with Julia Byers. I also got to spend some quality time with Ashley Snyder and I really wish I would have hung out with her more on the ship. The downside was the drama. I lost respect for some several individuals and found out that several people were upset with me for inviting people to join in on the fun. Apparently the reunion was supposed to be for only those on the reunion voyage this January. I guess I didn’t get that memo. I got things worked out with those people who were upset but overall, I’d have to describe the weekend in Breck as a frat boy party: sex, drugs and booze. I don’t think I’ve ever been around as much sex as I was at the house. People smoked marijuana and tried pressuring me into it. I said I work at a hospital and I can’t. I’m also pretty serious about this medical route and don’t think it would be beneficial for me to partake in drugs. Not to mention, I would be a hypocrite if I constantly tell my kids not to do it, take a weekend off from them and then get stoned. Finally, I’m beyond the point of marathon drinking. Don’t get me wrong, I got pretty wasted but I focused on a sensible limit to where I wasn’t constantly inebriated. I guess it just comes with getting older and having responsible goals for me. I’m growing up and it’s not my thing anymore. Would things have been different if I were having a good time…? That’s hard to tell. I guess I’ll never know. To wrap this story up, I left early. I had to get away from it all and I’m glad I did. I think I’ll stick to my personal visits to see friends. They’re much more meaningful and less irresponsible.
