DHS Investigation...Child Abuser or Not??

This post comes from a whirlwind of anger and frustration. Two nights ago, a 10 year old patient accused me of shoving him while he was in seclusion and smashing his fingers with my keys. Case management at my hospital has opened an investigation as well as DHS and the police will be getting involved and I may be facing felony child abuse charges. This is a huge accusation that could put my current income situation and future nursing career in jeopardy. This patient is known to have made 2 previous accusations against his own mother as well as a teacher. I know I really shouldn’t be too worried because I didn’t do anything wrong but it’s still unnerving to be a senior staff and having this affect my credibility with the rest of my staff. It’s really shaken the very foundation of my experience and made me question why I’m doing this type of work. I know the immediate answer should be to help relieve the suffering of others through love and compassion but I’m questioning that. Why should I continue to put myself at risk when all it takes is one accusation to ruin everything I have and everything I am working to accomplish?

I was called in by my nursing manager, HR, and a caseworker to explain my side of the story. I was also very firmly reminded that I had no staff as witnesses to back up my story and it really felt like I have already been charged as guilty. Heading to my shift, I discovered I was pulled from my home unit to work with the adults. I was told not to respond to any codes on Willow Wing and that I was not even permitted to step foot on the unit until the patient discharged or until the nursing manager deemed it appropriate for me to return. …So much for company loyalty and the belief in their employees. This is exactly why people of my generation don’t have any company loyalty; because we’re treated like we’re expendable. I’d just like to point out that I’ve been employed with this company for almost 8 months and never had an accusation or even a complaint filed against me. More to come on this situation as I learn more.

Sitting in a Coffee shop on a Wintry Day

(Entry from March 26, 2009)

Just a few updates: I’m getting really burned out at Cedar Springs. Last night my supervisor literally yelled at me for not taking lunch breaks. I approached her and said, “I can’t do this” in regards to working with certain repeat patients that I’ve had problems with before. Her response was, “I don’t ever want to hear that from you again. You need to trust me and your charge nurse that we’re going to take care of you.” The reason for my discontent was my lacking of staffing. She then switched to chewing me out for my lack of lunch breaks. It took all that I had in me not to give my notice right then and there. The evening was stressful but I managed to get through it. The reason I haven’t been taking breaks is because the acuity has been so high and we’ve had countless seclusions and restraints which translates into hours of paperwork. My supervisor eventually apologized later in the evening. She called me into her office and was tearful and stated that she had no right to speak to me in the manner in which she did. Like the staff, supervisors get frustrated as well and she took out her elevated emotions on me. I accepted her apology and for the first time realized that even this supervisor that I normally see as a steadfast rock has weaknesses and that no one is capable of not letting this type of work get to them.

This Friday, I’m getting together with the girl from work and we’re gonna spend some time together. I have to work at my second job from 11pm-7am which means no dancing for me but I’ll take what I can get. She’s not working either. The only thing she’s got on Friday is swimming. Not really sure what I’ve mentioned about her but she’s training for a sprint triathlon. I think she’s got Fridays off because she works on Sunday. Things are progressing very slowly but I’m alright with that. I really feel like I’ve got too much going on in my life to speed into anything to fast. It’s just nice having someone to vent to about work and someone who shares a lot in common with me.

For you Facebook fanatics who have seen my new status, yes it’s true…I’m planning on getting a tattoo. I’ve decided to get the Ohm symbol on my right forearm. I created the design myself with some inspiration from countless months of research. I was supposed to get the tattoo this morning but there was a scheduling conflict with the artist so I’m sitting around waiting to see if I can get in today before work. If not, then it’s definitely later this week that it’s gonna happen. In the meantime, I’ll just have to look forward to getting some sweet ink done :-)

No new information on where I’ll be living in May. I know I’ll still be in Colorado Springs but for how long or with who really depends on whether I want to move in with the grandparents or pay rent and live on my own. Such meaningless worries to bog me down. Hope you enjoyed the update!